Artist Unknown
I recently had to re-home my cat, the weekend before New Years. Meanwhile, this was attempt number 3 of trying to have one. Today I contacted her new caretaker to check on her and found out she’s still not interacting with humans much. Truthfully, I can’t blame her. Interacting with humans has become increasingly harder for me as well. We both share a past of trauma, and hers was mostly unknown to me. Truly hope she can find some comfort eventually, and luckily the new caretaker has the same level of patience with her as I did. The only reason I had to re-home her was because her scared nature became aggressive at times and that was extremely triggering for us, myself and some of the alters.
The alters and I, are now on a search for another furry friend, with the hopes to have an ESA – emotional support animal. This time, we are trying to manifest the right one who can give mutual love. The adoption shelter where we got the cat from was not honest at all about how she would be and practically rushed her out of the shelter. So I am worried that if we adopt again, a similar issue might happen. At the same time, I do not want to buy a furry friend, because there are tons of stigmas on how it is wrong, and not every breeder is a good person if they are selling to pet stores. Also, there are so many loving pets who need a home in adoption shelters, however they often come with a load of trauma. Feels like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place because it feels wrong of me to even mention the trauma aspect considering I come with a load of trauma and other humans possibly feel that same stress from me. However, I do know what we need, which is an animal who is friendly, social, and loving for therapeutic refuge.
What does not help this situation is that most places are charging way too much no matter what route you take. So at this point, I am not sure what to do. My sister says to wait until one presents itself to me and that’s how I’ll know its meant to be. To be honest, at some point you just know when not much waiting can be done anymore before a fucking nervous breakdown will happen. However I am grateful for sound advice, as I get where its coming from. I am also grateful that I work from home, but with that, comes massive hours of alone time. Although I do crave and need my alone time, it’s increasingly getting to be a disturbance within self, and it feels the same when around humans.
Universe please send me the ESA that is meant for us. This time, preferably a dog because 3 failed attempts at a cat clearly means that’s enough of that. Each time I have tried to get a dog, we didn’t move past the meet and greet because my living arrangements were compromised. Now there is space and I am so grateful for that as well. Ironically I cleared my cat allergy before rehoming this last cat too. The other irony is I used to be deathly afraid of dogs as a child, but luckily someone helped clear that fear with a great method many, many years ago. I share a different kind of love and respect for both species now.
Infinite gratitude.
SuppressionsUnLeashed 